Military Life for a Military Wife

So far in my military experience, I have been very, very blessed. I still cannot believe how narrowly we have escaped deployments, long nights alone, and long field ops. We've hit a few bumps with duty nights and long work days, but nothing to serious. What a blessing it all has been.

And suddenly, everything is collapsing. Or so it seems. I'm sure it's not as bad as I think; maybe I'm stronger than I believe. Others I know would scoff at my worry, but being new to the military situation, these things are absolutely terrifying. And faced with so many things so sudden has really taken its toll on me.

We have been happily married for almost six months. I can't believe almost half a year has gone by! I'm still settling into things here in North Carolina, though I haven't seen too much of the "outside world" since I'm stuck at home with no job and no car. I enjoy my time at home though.

Looking back, I never really realized what being a military wife entailed. I sort of thought about deployment. I kind of thought about field ops. I thought a little bit that I just might end up alone for a long time. But then, I never really thought it would ever really happen. That's all for other people. Strong people. People who know what they're doing. Certainly not me.

Two months into our marriage, Rhett came home with the terrifying news. They were posting a deployment list the next day. That was an awful day, as I waited for Rhett to come home with news of possible deployment after only two months. Luckily for us, Rhett was "disqualified" for deployment since he was the new section head. They needed him on base here in NC. THANK GOODNESS!!

Now, 5 months later, more news came. Rhett came home with the news of not one, but TWO deployments: One to Afghanistan for 7-9 months, and one to Syria for 7-9 months. He was to go on two field ops, one for each. One lasting only a week, and one lasting three. They followed one other with only a few short days between. (For those who don't know, a "Field Op" is a "mini deployment" on base. They take marines out into the woods somewhere and have them do their jobs as if they were on a deployment or in a specific situation. These can be anywhere in the US and can last a couple days to a couple months.)

It came time for Rhett's first, week long field op. It would be my first week alone, knowing no one, having no friends, and being unfamiliar with my surroundings, I was terrified. Rhett went off to work, and I sat and cried. In the midst of my tears and self-pity, my phone rings and Rhett's name pops up, and he tells me he's on his way home. The field op was cancelled. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!! And not only that, but with the cancellation of the field op came the cancellation of the deployment.

However, despite this happy moment, he still had the 3 week field op in 10 days, and that would be much harder than a week. When Rhett arrived home, I expressed my concerns for his upcoming, longer, field op, and he informed me that since the field op was so long and located directly on base, he was able to come home every night, only being on his field op from 6 am to 6 pm every day, with some time off on Sunday's for church, and even the occasional day off. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!! Again!!! The Lord has shown us so many tender mercies! How wonderful and great is His glory and His plan for each of us!

And now, just last Sunday, Rhett and I were sustained as Primary Workers, teaching the 4-5 year olds. I feel so so blessed to do this with Rhett because, as much as I love little kids, the thought of teaching them and being with them for two hours absolutely terrifies me. How is someone like me supposed to maintain control of 10-16 energetic little kids?! Thank goodness for Rhett! Still, I'm a little nervous and unsure of myself. And then, who knows how long we can even keep the calling, being in the military?

And then, the bad news comes back. Rhett has been scheduled for another field op. This time longer than the last. 22 days on a field op for the Syria deployment, and this time he doesn't get to come home. And he leaves this month. And for icing on the cake, it overlaps my birthday. It's a silly thing really, to be so devastated about my birthday, but I've never had one alone, and now that I'm in a new place with new friends, I can't help but think that it will be a very depressing day. And now I have to face the fact that I will be in charge of the primary class by myself for about 4 Sundays.

Now, with this second field op, the possible deployment seems more real. Why would they send a couple hundred marines on two fields ops costing thousands of dollars if they aren't planning to send them away to Syria to quell rebels and teach combat training?

This military spouse stuff is becoming very real very fast, and I wish with all my heart things would slow down, or that I could at least feel more prepared. I feel so inadequate, so alone, and so weak. They say that you never know how strong you really are until being strong is all you have left, but it would just be so so nice to know that I am strong enough to handle everything being thrown my way right now, not when I'm in the middle of it all.

All that's left now is to take it one step at a time.